Well, then. This is FOR YOU. To have ;)

Friday, October 29, 2010

New chapter / page / etc - or... my experiences in the new adventures of staying up late and getting up early, who needs sleep phase

Today is the last day of my maternity leave. Yes, that's right! It's been a long time.

My life has changed so much in the last year. Well, I can't say that it hasn't been changing all of my life - but with everything else that I've experienced this has been the most life changing event. This trumps my getting married, even.

On August 25, 2010, the most wonderful thing happened. Mike and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And, you know - people used to say that having a child is like nothing else in the world - that you love them more than anything else. It's true! On her first day in the world I realized that I loved her already. I loved her so much that I can't even explain it. I felt (and feel) like every moment that passes is one that we'll never get back with our daughter - what a strange word that is - my daughter. I have a daughter! She is amazing and she has changed my life forever.

When I was pregnant, I wasn't so sure that I was going to like this having a baby thing. I mean, would I like taking care of a baby more than going to the gym, taking classes, working on computers, and walking the dog? How about my freedom to take off for a weekend on a moments notice? I do think that I'll miss some of the freedom. But, it's so worth it. Will I enjoy spending every moment I can with my daughter? Absolutely. Now I have someone to share the things I love with (in addition to my husband, of course) - haha. And, she's not like the dog, you can bring her in the store with you - she can travel too!

I decided to take a few minutes today and blog - mostly because my husband commented on one of my posts a couple weeks ago reminding me that I have a blog and because I guess it is a way to document how I'm feeling now and also because I could be cleaning the house, which I never can seem to do these days.

The last day of maternity leave... the last full day by myself with my little girl - who is currently napping by the way. She usually takes a good nap in the morning, even though her waking time varies. Tomorrow my in-laws are coming to visit and my mother-in-law will be staying with us for a week to take care of the baby while we are at work. This will help me to establish a routine with the baby for the following week when she will be going to daycare. I visited daycare the other day and am happy that she is going to a place where she can learn and socialize but I'm also sad that I'm going to miss all of that time with her. In a way, I think having the time away from the baby will make me a better mom though... by this I mean - sometimes, after taking care of her all day long - not to sound like a bad mom, or at least I hope I don't - I am playing with her, figuring out what she needs, making sure she is fed, worrying about her and sometimes, after a while - I do love taking care of her - but I don't feel like playing or talking in a fun voice when she is ready to play late at night. Sometimes, I am ready to relax and am so tired but she wants to play and I try - but I'm probably not as fun of a mommy as I could be. So, I think going back to work will help us get in routine and help me be more fun when I am with her... and maybe stop me from laying down next to the crib in her nursery as a break from exhaustion, or maybe cause me to do that more often - who knows.

No sleep, haha - I had plenty of preparation for this from when I was on call! At least the person who I need to help is not in India.

Anyway, I'll leave this blog post by saying - I'm looking forward to enjoying my daughter. It's also true about what they say about time - it goes by so quickly, like my maternity leave has. I can't believe she is 9 weeks old.

And, speaking of her - she is starting to wake up... and I need to get on with cleaning as we have company coming!